The Eldest

I wonder how many people reading this are the eldest in the family? Well, I am. I've 3 younger sisters...one of which is only a year and 11 days younger than me. But the difference in the way herself and myself were brought up is astonishing. For instance, I was always told I couldnt go out clubbing or anything until I was 17 or so...she was out when she was 15!

The Eldest child has to set the best example, cuz the younger ones live up to the phrase "monkey see, monkey do" the majority of the time. I was a high achiever in school. I dont mean to brag, but I always got the highest marks in exams..including my finals in school. As a result, all 3 of my sisters study hard, and have all over achieved. Even the youngest, and she's only 9.

I think my parents (Mom especially) was afraid of making mistakes bringing me up. As the eldest, she felt she had to stamp her authority on me. This was to esure I didnt do the normal teenage thing and rebel. But in the process of trying to raise the perfect eldest, she got most of everything wrong. Note to parents out there....corporal punishment only serves to distance yourself from your kids. Fear and hate and pain is not the same as respect.

I wonder how you can strike a balance between raising your kids right, instilling in them a sense of respect for you, yet maintain the love and closeness that should be between parents and kids?

My Dad, I suppose, managed that. I cant remember him lifting a hand once against me...not once. The worst thing he ever said, that really hurt me was "you've really disapointed me"...and that was after I'd cursed at someone. His way, is the perfect way I suppose. He's a gentle giant....not perfect in any way....but just good enough to be one in a million

Outside vs Inside

Right..if this thing is supposed to be a look into my head, my thoughts, what makes me tick...and what makes me go boom occasionally, I'd better give you an insight into who I am.

I am you're average 24 year old, office worker...qualified from college 2 years ago and fell into a job that was a bit above my experience level. Turns out I'm an exceptional blagger in interviews, and I well blagged my way into this job, I can tell ya. As a result, I'm the youngest member of a close team, in a highly strung department with an equally highly strung boss (you'll hear more about her as the blogs progress). But it's offically the weekend, so I'm not going to talk about work until Monday again.

On the outside...I'm really sporty - play every sport under the sun. Get up and go running before work, and usually again after work. I'm fierce competitve......more about why I'm so sports mad later.

People on the whole see me as a happy, friendly, "nice, nice" person...always obliging, always there if you need a rant and need someone to listen to it.

On the inside....whole other story. I'm all mixed up and "selfconsecure" - thats my word. I'm trade marking it now. It may seem like a mumbled mix of nonsence to you, but it describes me in a nutshell.

Hey - Welcome

Well, this is my 1st time ever posting one of these things...as a totally anonomus person....which is good good. I've called this my "ups and downs", cuz I figured it would be easier to post my ups and down here, rather than talk to anyone face to face about them. At the minute I'm not having any up or down moments..which I suppose is a good way to start - from my neutral.

So, here's me at my neutral....just a regular Jane Doe. I get on grand with most people. Work my 9-5. Make small chat with people as I meet them. Someone nicknamed me Little-Miss Sunshine, which was cute I thought. Was having a very much "Up" day then I think!

But to be honest, there isn't one person out there who knows the real me...until now.