Friday, August 31, 2007

The Eldest

I wonder how many people reading this are the eldest in the family? Well, I am. I've 3 younger sisters...one of which is only a year and 11 days younger than me. But the difference in the way herself and myself were brought up is astonishing. For instance, I was always told I couldnt go out clubbing or anything until I was 17 or so...she was out when she was 15!

The Eldest child has to set the best example, cuz the younger ones live up to the phrase "monkey see, monkey do" the majority of the time. I was a high achiever in school. I dont mean to brag, but I always got the highest marks in exams..including my finals in school. As a result, all 3 of my sisters study hard, and have all over achieved. Even the youngest, and she's only 9.

I think my parents (Mom especially) was afraid of making mistakes bringing me up. As the eldest, she felt she had to stamp her authority on me. This was to esure I didnt do the normal teenage thing and rebel. But in the process of trying to raise the perfect eldest, she got most of everything wrong. Note to parents out there....corporal punishment only serves to distance yourself from your kids. Fear and hate and pain is not the same as respect.

I wonder how you can strike a balance between raising your kids right, instilling in them a sense of respect for you, yet maintain the love and closeness that should be between parents and kids?

My Dad, I suppose, managed that. I cant remember him lifting a hand once against me...not once. The worst thing he ever said, that really hurt me was "you've really disapointed me"...and that was after I'd cursed at someone. His way, is the perfect way I suppose. He's a gentle giant....not perfect in any way....but just good enough to be one in a million

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